I never have ever really kept an online journal before. And to be honest I don't know why I am... maybe because I want a Journal and I am too cheap to go buy one. I should I really do need to write things, thoughts more like it down. I really don't want anyone to read them so It's dumb of me to have an online journal. But today everything bad was made offical... he's gone. I know it's stupid to get worked up over someone... but he was the one. There will be no one else... ever. Once the person who you've given everything to and for leaves its like your soul goes with them... I don't feel right any more and I just want to sleep... but even the pills won't let me sleep. Everythings just wrong... I'm still screaming in my sleep... so says every in the house... I don't know that cause I'm sleeping... but I know the nightmare he chased away are back. So sleep I want it... but the Dreams have price... my sanity. Though I'm pretty sure that it broke a long time ago. I feel stupid writing an online journal...